No relationship is perfect, oftentimes our actions and words have wounded others or vice-versa.

Effects of unforgivingness may develop as a result of it.  If not resolved it may lead to more negative feelings like bitterness, anger and even vengeance.

It takes great humility to ask forgiveness from someone who wronged us.
Forgiveness is a command as we can see from the following passages:

Matthew 6:9-15,
Matthew 18:21-25
Luke 6:37
Ephesians 4:32
Colossians 3:13

Failing to forgive can imprison us and even  carry that baggage even in our future if not dealt with quickly.

It creates bitterness in our hearts and unknowingly it affects those around us with our negative words and actions.

It affects our personality and even our image – giving a hard face that reflects the deep wounding of our hearts.

It becomes a constant cycle of stress and anxiety and may faced repeated conflict of this nature until this is addressed.

We become trapped in our emotions – putting up protective walls and masks to concealing the deep hurt  and pain inside us.  This causes emotional stress as it affects every other area of our life as well.

As we can observe the life of Joseph (Genesis 50: 20 – And as for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive. NASB version) when he began to forgive his brothers the process of healing took place.

We may justified ourselves but its when we “Let Go, and Let God”  the burden of unforgiveness is lifted up from us.  In life, unpleasant things do happen to us but how we react to it? Not only God deals with the offender but us too when we release forgiveness.

At this juncture, we ask God to assist us in forgiving the person who has wronged/or wounded us… it may not be easy initially. When we decide to let go and leave the judgment to God, only then, our heart will be released.

As we are not perfect we may have hurt others with our words or actions and they may not forgive you but when we confess before God, He will forgive us.

For the pent-up emotions that is stored up inside us need to be released.  The longer one we delayed the harboured unforgiveness and other negative emotions, it becomes an emotional reservoir. But when God forgives you its like breaking this dam gradually.

Ask God to heal your memory of how you were wronged and free you in the specific areas where the painful memory is locked up within you.

Ask Holy Spirit to bring to your mind the deep seated pain in the past that needs to be addressed.  Harbouring unforgiveness toward that person or people will maintained that negative thoughts about them.  It is essential to say no – I choose to forgive and to dwell upon positive things replacing the negative thoughts.  As God forgives us we too need to forgive our offender/s.

1 John 1:9 (If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness, NASB version) Pray blessings into that person’s life – Luke 6:28 (bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.) For men it’s impossible but all things are possible with God.

Dear Friend – Do you harbor any unforgiveness, bitterness, resentment, would you like to be released from these negative feelings and actions for God’s peace and love??
Here is a simple prayer to guide you but its best if you can say what is in your heart to God.

Dear Heavenly Father,

You know how deeply hurt I was by …… (name of person).   For a long time I harbored unforgiveness and bitterness towards …. (name of person) for the things he/she has done.  But today I choose to forgive in obedience to your Word as in 1 John 1:9, Matthew 18:32-33.  I claimed your forgiveness and forgive ….. (name of person) in Jesus Name.
“Lord bless him/her and may he/she come to your saving grace and know You.  I release him/her to you.  Thank you Lord that I am set free from the prison of unforgiveness.  If the Son should set me free I will be freed indeed (John 8:36). In Jesus Name I pray. Amen.